Why do men get married?

[monkeybingo]

Originally Posted by Benedict1957

If you want to look at it from a purely selfish standpoint, the federal income tax benefits from filing jointly as a married couple are significant.

I file my own taxes and THIS IS NOT TRUE. Def some advantage.. not SIGNIFICANT

[squishy]

Originally Posted by carve

Prenups are far from bullet proof; they're overturned all the time. It also doesn't protect anything you make AFTER the marriage.

Not if the literature is flawless, and the proof is overwhelming and clear.

Why would anything you make after the marriage be affected by that marriage?

[Whostheboss]

Originally Posted by Billup

What's in it for men? The pleasure of being able to bang one pussy the rest of your life!


Also, I'd like to just let it be known that divorce rate is also high due to people getting married at young ages and divorcing rapidly, so it does skew the results in some fashion. There are positives to being married, and life is not always about "what we get out of things" but the experiences that lead us there.

Shit hell yea, bang that puss whenever you please. lol But what happens when the puss loses its elasticity?

Originally Posted by monkeybingo

To be honest, Man can do well when they are alone. females are tend to be insecure when they alone and feels secured when they are bond legally. I am no psychologist but I think my answer is 100% correct.

This is 100% True. Most Women's nightmare is to be labeled as 'Single'

[pgviper]

Originally Posted by Bobble

Not trying to offend you but this is the fairy tell view point of marriage. I was married for 21 years and we were together 4 years before that so that was 25 a quarter century. She up and left for someone younger when I got sick in 2001, and guess what she took 50 percent of everything, got alimony no child support as the kids lived with me because her new interest "creeped" them out(he was 16 years her junior she 4 mine). I got nothing no child support as I was the primary wage earner. I got royally screwed financially until 2 years later when she remarried(dumb ass had lifetime alimony) and then got divorced again 14 months later because he bailed as they took a $2500 month income cut.
Now to cut out the bitterness of reality yes you get married for the reasons you stated but understand and understand well it is a contract, either party can leave and break the contract and demand half the assets regardless(at least in Cali) and if the marriage lasted 10 years or longer you could be on the hook for a long term contractual obligation stipulated by the state which you cannot break easily unlike marriage. Currently I am in the 11th year of a relationship with a wonderful person, she has her moments but so do I, marriage is not an option for either of us, we're older no children will result(mine are now young adults 23 and 27) and we both have experienced the bad sides of marriage. Will we ever get married, maybe once retired and it is financially an advantage or the responsibility of caring for each other is buoyed by it. I know lots, dozens of people same situation in life same experiences both sexes. Marriage is often demanded by social, cultural or religious reasons and as those demands change and navigate life so should the demand for that. One of the happiest couples I know are not legally married(yes by common law since they've been together over 25 years), they have separate finances, own a home together each contributing exactly 50% of all outlays and have raised 3 of the most well adjusted people I know. Case can be made that is the ideal situation IMO.

Yes, you sign a contract but in my opinion, marriage is about the promise (your vows) that you make to your wife.

In your case, she broke that promise when she stopped supporting you during your time of illness.

[carve]

Originally Posted by pgviper

Yes, you sign a contract but in my opinion, marriage is about the promise (your vows) that you make to your wife.

In your case, she broke that promise when she stopped supporting you during your time of illness.

...and he had to pay the price for that, both in having no help AND by shelling out a ton of money. So, the contract with the state is a raw deal for men. So why sign it? What's in it for men? Legally speaking, the ceremony and vows are just window dressing and tradition and don't mean sh!t; the actual legal marriage IS the financial contract.

[Bobble]

Originally Posted by Benedict1957

If you want to look at it from a purely selfish standpoint, the federal income tax benefits from filing jointly as a married couple are significant.

Wow hope you are not a financial planner. If my SO/GF/Partner/Psuedo Wifey were married we'd pay significantly more in taxes. We both make very good money, she has 2 condos paid for using as rentals and we live in my home only write off. We both contribute the max 401K allowed(we are both just over 55 so it's considerably more than standard) and no kids whom are dependents. Believe me we took a long look at the financial aspects. Now in 6 years when she's retired(she'll retire early I have to recoup the 500+K I lost in 2001 from my SEP IRA still) maybe then. But today we are what the IRS looks for deep pockets minimal write offs to boost up those who do not pay. BTW before anyone says get more write offs like a home I have one with a $3500/month mortgage and pretty high property taxes. You need to make a lot more to afford to write off more and we'd rather travel and enjoy the "fruits" of our labors.

[monkeybingo]

OP did you go through a rough divorce?

[pgviper]

Originally Posted by carve

...and he had to pay the price for that, both in having no help AND by shelling out a ton of money. So, the contract with the state is a raw deal for men. So why sign it? What's in it for men? Legally speaking, the ceremony and vows are just window dressing and tradition and don't mean sh!t; the actual legal marriage IS the financial contract.

The difference between me and you is that I value my faith and the promise I make more than the contract that I sign.

Like Billup said, its about the journey...

[Bobble]

Originally Posted by pgviper

Yes, you sign a contract but in my opinion, marriage is about the promise (your vows) that you make to your wife.

In your case, she broke that promise when she stopped supporting you during your time of illness.

You just buoyed the reason the OP originally posted. Why, that can happen to anyone.
Just one other tidbit since I am barring my life, my SO got sick 6 months after we met, flesh eating bacteria, lost 40% of one leg in tissue and muscle mass, was in hospital 69 days. I was there every day morning and evening for her. Not patting myself, I did what was right when you commit to someone. Guess what if you read anything above we're not married not intention of it in the near future but we are committed to each other and no one can screw with one without the other having their back plain and simple. That's what marriage should be but 50% of time by your stats it's not.

[monkeybingo]

Originally Posted by Bobble

Wow hope you are not a financial planner. If my SO/GF/Partner/Psuedo Wifey were married we'd pay significantly more in taxes. We both make very good money, she has 2 condos paid for using as rentals and we live in my home only write off. We both contribute the max 401K allowed(we are both just over 55 so it's considerably more than standard) and no kids whom are dependents. Believe me we took a long look at the financial aspects. Now in 6 years when she's retired(she'll retire early I have to recoup the 500+K I lost in 2001 from my SEP IRA still) maybe then. But today we are what the IRS looks for deep pockets minimal write offs to boost up those who do not pay. BTW before anyone says get more write offs like a home I have one with a $3500/month mortgage and pretty high property taxes. You need to make a lot more to afford to write off more and we'd rather travel and enjoy the "fruits" of our labors.

how about the 2007 loss

[Billup]

Originally Posted by Whostheboss

Shit hell yea, bang that puss whenever you please. lol But what happens when the puss loses its elasticity?

Uhhhh..., you open up your marriage and find a 20 year old side bitch! Duh!

[Bobble]

Originally Posted by pgviper

The difference between me and you is that I value my faith and the promise I make more than the contract that I sign.

So then marriage is a religious demand if I understand right? That's fine if so but that's what drives your opinion. mine frankly is driven by real world experience of my own and by others I know. Good for you if your conviction and that of your partner agrees with that. But it simply does not make marriage a good deal for the vast majority, like was stated 50% end up bad. I'll beat that goes up in the next decade or two. Again IMO.

[Bobble]

Originally Posted by monkeybingo

how about the 2007 loss

I've owned my home since 1999 and it's since recovered back to those levels right prior. Other investments have leveled off and rebounded as well; her 500K out of my SEP and 246K out of the other half of our assets have not and honestly probably never will but I am ignoring the facts and still trying to get those back. My initial plan was to retire at 50 and live off investments, well the story of what happened is outlined way above. Oh well will not break who I am just can't afford to be who I planned to be.

[carve]

Originally Posted by monkeybingo

OP did you go through a rough divorce?

I'm divorced...about 3.5 years now. It was relatively clean.

Got married way too young. Once I was legally obligated, she totally phoned it in. It was a 75/25 marriage...I basically put in 3x the work as her...usually more. Income, sex (her drive evaporated), taking care of myself (she got huge), keeping up the house (I was her maid because I can't stand to live in a pig stye), even washing her damn car. It was really lonely. I always figured I just needed to try even harder, but the harder I tried the less she tried, until it reached a breaking point. The first time I brought up divorce if things didn't change, she went straight to the lawyer and filed without even telling me. She got half my stuff (after a little battling) which amounted to about $150k, of which she probably earned about 50K on her own (if that), so it cost me about $100k (post tax) of my life. Years of my young life- poof. What did she do to earn it? Sat on ass. She quit her job and demanded alimony, but I got out of it BECAUSE she quit her job, and because she did some stupid things legally and had no stomach for a fight.

Everyone considers her a friendly person, but being married completely DIS-incentivized her to contribute to the relationship, and I stayed in a bad relationship WAY too long because i DID take my vows seriously and because she had me over a barrel financially. I had my breaking point though. So...what was in it for me? I just got married because I was young and figured that's the next step, right? Cultural inertia. This is what led me to think about the nature of marriage in the modern era and what's in it for men.

[monkeybingo]

Originally Posted by Bobble

I've owned my home since 1999 and it's since recovered back to those levels right prior. Other investments have leveled off and rebounded as well; her 500K out of my SEP and 246K out of the other half of our assets have not and honestly probably never will but I am ignoring the facts and still trying to get those back. My initial plan was to retire at 50 and live off investments, well the story of what happened is outlined way above. Oh well will not break who I am just can't afford to be who I planned to be.

I am young and I have shifted 80% of my investment to the emerging market. last 2 years I have profited over double digit growth.

[carve]

Originally Posted by pgviper

The difference between me and you is that I value my faith and the promise I make more than the contract that I sign.

Like Billup said, its about the journey...

Then why did you bother signing the contract?

[Whostheboss]

Originally Posted by Billup

Uhhhh..., you open up your marriage and find a 20 year old side bitch! Duh!

hmmmmmmmm good idea. so i can just keep getting new side bitches? ok cool

[Templar]

I think you should post more threads about how terrible marriage is and how horrible having kids is. You haven't quite gotten your point across methinks.

[monkeybingo]

Originally Posted by carve

I'm divorced...about 3.5 years now. It was relatively clean.

Got married way too young. Once I was legally obligated, she totally phoned it in. It was a 75/25 marriage...I basically put in 3x the work as her...usually more. Income, sex (her drive evaporated), taking care of myself (she got huge), keeping up the house (I was her maid because I can't stand to live in a pig stye), even washing her damn car. It was really lonely. I always figured I just needed to try even harder until it reached a breaking point. The first time I brought up divorce if things didn't change, she went straight to the lawyer. She got half my stuff (after a little battling) which amounted to about $150k, of which she probably earned about 60% on her own, so it cost me about $90k (post tax) of my life. Years of my young life- poof. What did she do to earn it? Sat on ass. She quit her job and demanded alimony, but I got out of it BECAUSE she quit her job, and because she did some stupid things legally and had no stomach for a fight.

Everyone considers her a friendly person, but being married completely DIS-incentivized her to contribute to the relationship, and I stayed in a bad relationship WAY too long because i DID take my vows seriously and because she had me over a barrel financially. I had my breaking point though. So...what was in it for me? I just got married because I was young and figured that's the next step, right? Cultural inertia. This is what led me to think about the nature of marriage in the modern era and what's in it for men.

Move on.. don't think all woman are like your ex. My wife is great and does her 110% to make me happy. You will find the right person and that person will value you. Hope you know how to filter those girls out during your relationship.

[carve]

Originally Posted by Templar

I think you should post more threads about how terrible marriage is and how horrible having kids is. You haven't quite gotten your point across methinks.

Can't answer the question?

[carve]

Originally Posted by monkeybingo

Move on.. don't think all woman are like your ex. My wife is great and does her 110% to make me happy. You will find the right person and that person will value you. Hope you know how to filter those girls out during your relationship.

Done! The girl I've been dating DOES seem like the exception, and I love her dearly. Life is awesome for me now. How would it be improved by involving the state in our relationship and putting half my stuff on the line?

[KingOfJericho]

Originally Posted by Bobble

I know from your posts in the past you have a wonderful spouse and beautiful kids, recent addition I think? I hope it always stays that way for you but simply understand this, happiness, self worth/esteem and a healthy outlook on life are not cultivated by marriage but by the inner trappings of who we are. Sorry for your uncle as something along the line broke him and that's sad because there's lots of people in life that can make you happy and healthy you just don't need to be married them IMO.

I was the same dude before I got married as I am right now. Sure, my surroundings and attachments have evolved, but my marriage and kids (one 21M old and another due in a few weeks) haven't changed who I am inside. It just so happens that I seem to have always been a caring and loving dad inside as I think I've taken to it very naturally.

My cousin's uncle, on the other hand, was broken early. We have it narrowed down to two scenarios. He's either too selfish to share his life with anyone, or he's been gay the entire time but his parents were extremely homophobic so that may have robbed him of that potentially joyful relationship (we lean toward the latter). Sad story no matter how you slice it.