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View Poll Results: Take a Shit at work?
Hell Yeahh 71 71.72%
Hell nooo 11 11.11%
Maybe 17 17.17%
Voters: 99. You may not vote on this poll

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      09-12-2019, 08:25 AM   #45
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The whole 'getting paid to drop a deuce' reason is the best one to schedule your shits at work. Take a 15-minute dump at work every day, and that's like 7 extra PTO days a year!

On the other hand, the biggest problem is when your stalls aren't equipped with sinks and you can't properly clean yourself. One of the most low-key terrible things about American culture is that we somehow accept that taking a dry tissue and just spreading your leftover shit a little bit around your ass is good hygiene...
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      09-12-2019, 08:27 AM   #46
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Washing your ass in a public sink isnt particularly good either?
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      09-12-2019, 08:30 AM   #47
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You kinda have to work out a system with water and TP...not ideal either but much better.

Wish we had bidets like the Japanese have everywhere.
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      09-12-2019, 08:36 AM   #48
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Darth One View Post
You kinda have to work out a system with water and TP...not ideal either but much better.

Wish we had bidets like the Japanese have everywhere.
I used to have this Boxer, great dog. He thought the bidet in my girlfriends house was a drinking fountain......he'd follow you into the WC every time and stand there staring at the thing waiting for you to turn it on.
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      09-12-2019, 08:48 AM   #49
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Originally Posted by Grumpy Old Man View Post
I used to have this Boxer, great dog. He thought the bidet in my girlfriends house was a drinking fountain......he'd follow you into the WC every time and stand there staring at the thing waiting for you to turn it on.
That's awesome.

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      09-12-2019, 09:43 AM   #50
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gettin bout that time
like clockwork.

for the record: 0918 today.
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      09-12-2019, 05:41 PM   #51
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coincidence this thread exist...my boss just asked me to put this up in the bathroom and I told him "you printed it, you put it up!"

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      09-12-2019, 08:44 PM   #52
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Iíve fired two guys for taking 20-30 min craps each day, which equates to 100-150min/wk, do the further math. Insane.
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      09-13-2019, 08:05 AM   #53
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What has my life come to that I've just spent it reading this? You all had me going for a minute when the reply to "wet toilet paper doesn't clean well enough" started with "I used to have this Boxer, great dog" - but fortunately it did not go the direction my sick mind was heading....

And for all you 'special clean folks' who think plain TP is barbaric - haven't you heard of those travel packs of baby wipes? Just don't flush them - they will clog a city sewer, your office plumbing won't last a month.
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      09-13-2019, 08:09 AM   #54
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sy1616 View Post
Iíve fired two guys for taking 20-30 min craps each day, which equates to 100-150min/wk, do the further math. Insane.
that's harsh, it's a bodily function for crying out loud
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      09-13-2019, 08:33 AM   #55
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lsturbointeg View Post
coincidence this thread exist...my boss just asked me to put this up in the bathroom and I told him "you printed it, you put it up!"

I'm printing that out and I'll put it up myself after what just happened!

I was taking a leak in our very posh work bathroom, with very nice sinks and good smelling (sweet almond) soap. A miserable coworker took the smelliest and loudest dump and walked out without washing his hands. He's the kind guy that would just say F&#k you and walk away if you called him out, he's older than dirt and hopefully retiring soon.

The only way I figure that anybody can get their poop to smell that bad is is to live on a diet consuming actual dog shit.

I was trapped in there until somebody else came in since I didn't want to touch the door lever, and being green we don't have paper towels.

That sign is going up today!
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      09-13-2019, 08:35 AM   #56
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Yes, about 35-45 min everyday.. It's usually the same time.. 945am after the black coffee no sugar kicks in. Well our bathroom is a single use person. Door locks and such
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      09-13-2019, 08:40 AM   #57
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Maynard View Post
What has my life come to that I've just spent it reading this? You all had me going for a minute when the reply to "wet toilet paper doesn't clean well enough" started with "I used to have this Boxer, great dog" - but fortunately it did not go the direction my sick mind was heading....

And for all you 'special clean folks' who think plain TP is barbaric - haven't you heard of those travel packs of baby wipes? Just don't flush them - they will clog a city sewer, your office plumbing won't last a month.
Baby wipes is indeed the most elegant solution if you are bidet-less (which would be almost all the time in a public toilet).

My mind also went where i think yours did when that reply opened with ďi used to have this Boxer...Ē. But i think my reaction was disappointment, not relief, when it didnít go there
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      09-13-2019, 08:42 AM   #58
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wrickem View Post
I'm printing that out and I'll put it up myself after what just happened!

I was taking a leak in our very posh work bathroom, with very nice sinks and good smelling (sweet almond) soap. A miserable coworker took the smelliest and loudest dump and walked out without washing his hands. He's the kind guy that would just say F&#k you and walk away if you called him out, he's older than dirt and hopefully retiring soon.

The only way I figure that anybody can get their poop to smell that bad is is to live on a diet consuming actual dog shit.

I was trapped in there until somebody else came in since I didn't want to touch the door lever, and being green we don't have paper towels.

That sign is going up today!
If one of my coworkers is witnessed pooping without washing, there will be a post on our group Slack channels about it....biohazard warning!
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      09-13-2019, 09:18 AM   #59
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mojobmw_e90 View Post
Yes, about 35-45 min everyday.. It's usually the same time.. 945am after the black coffee no sugar kicks in. Well our bathroom is a single use person. Door locks and such
45 minutes? You might want to see a doctor. sounds like something is wrong.
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      09-13-2019, 09:26 AM   #60
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sy1616 View Post
Iíve fired two guys for taking 20-30 min craps each day, which equates to 100-150min/wk, do the further math. Insane.
Yeah they would definitely be more productive working with shit in their pants that everyone has to smell.

While we are at it, we shouldn't let people take smoke breaks either because the wasted time definitely doesn't make up for them being moody and on-edge for 8+ hours.
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      09-13-2019, 09:32 AM   #61
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i absolutely hate shitting at work. i work for a company that has been on the fortune 500 list for over 6 decades and they have the nerve to buy the cheapest goddamn toilet paper. im not a fan of wiping my ass with sand paper.
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      09-13-2019, 10:41 AM   #62
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This thread cracks me up.

On a related note: I played dueling asses with whoever was in the ladies restroom yesterday. The two restrooms share a wall with poor insulation. Luckily, I finished first; this way I didn't have to know who was in there and they have no idea who their echo was.
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      09-13-2019, 11:47 AM   #63
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I never really paid attention to this but ever since this thread was created I actually know the shitting habits of my coworkers now. Every morning before they start they each take turns shitting in the bathroom. We have 2 stalls. Some guys actually show up even earlier because they know if they get there late they might shit themselves just because each guy will literally shit for 15 min so you might end up waiting 45 minutes before it's their turn lol. . Between all the Pipeliners and Technicians from 630-8am there's always 2 guys taking shits. And while they're waiting they'll sit on the counter in my area and shoot the shits with me until somebody comes out

I asked them why not shit at home before coming to work and I shit you not they all say they don't feel the need until they get here. It's like routine to them...shit than work
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      09-13-2019, 02:07 PM   #64
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Darth One View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by wrickem View Post
I'm printing that out and I'll put it up myself after what just happened!

I was taking a leak in our very posh work bathroom, with very nice sinks and good smelling (sweet almond) soap. A miserable coworker took the smelliest and loudest dump and walked out without washing his hands. He's the kind guy that would just say F&#k you and walk away if you called him out, he's older than dirt and hopefully retiring soon.

The only way I figure that anybody can get their poop to smell that bad is is to live on a diet consuming actual dog shit.

I was trapped in there until somebody else came in since I didn't want to touch the door lever, and being green we don't have paper towels.

That sign is going up today!
If one of my coworkers is witnessed pooping without washing, there will be a post on our group Slack channels about it....biohazard warning!
Oh don't worry, I was actually mad and I hardly ever get mad at anything but everybody now knows what a stinky non-hand washing pig he is thanks to my big mouth. Forchristsake, we have sweet almond soap...use it!
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      09-13-2019, 04:23 PM   #65
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Darth One View Post
Baby wipes is indeed the most elegant solution if you are bidet-less (which would be almost all the time in a public toilet).

My mind also went where i think yours did when that reply opened with ďi used to have this Boxer...Ē. But i think my reaction was disappointment, not relief, when it didnít go there
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B000FDDELY..._1GaFDbD26A9H2
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      09-13-2019, 04:27 PM   #66
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Anyone else remember this from The Office?
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