Tired of parallel parking dings - custom bumper guard?

[filtercoffee]

Where I live, people don't know how to park and tend to kiss the bumpers. The alternative parking garages are either valet or too dusty. It's driving me insane and I want bloody revenge.

Street parking is still the best option due to the convenience (I can park right in front of my office). I am mulling over options for a sturdy bumper bar to deter dumb parkers and prevent bumper scuffs.

What if I utilized the tow hook holes in the bumper and made a symmetrical tow hook hole on the other side. Then screwed in a bracket into all tow hook holes, and mounted a custom steel tube.

Something like (graphic representation):

[ (-car-) ]

^ bumper bars on the outside ^

I'm posting here to get your opinion on how badly this would kill (or increase!) my car's resale value. and asking for your thoughts in general. I figured this would be the minimally invasive way to mount a bumper bar and get bloody revenge.

Inb4 "why don't you just get a beater car" BECAUSE I LOVE TO DRIVE MY Z4M.

[garz747]

Use one of those roll out mats that the cabs use in NYC. Another option would be mounting a tow hitch with bracket fastened to that..Quite ugly tho.

[filtercoffee]

You mean those "bumper bully" things that hang off the bumper?
I've heard they cause the paint under to get swirled.
Also, not as deterring as a steel bar.
Maybe a good compromise solution.

[filtercoffee]

also looked into tow hitch but
1. can't find an affordable one for the M
2. that solves the rear but not the front

[Angelito]

This might address the front:
https://www.amazon.com/NEW-2018-Bump.../dp/B0798KH79M

[filtercoffee]

I'm just gonna need to hire two armed guards...

[Angelito]

LOL...or you can get one T-800 Terminator (Cyberdyne Systems Model 101) to enforce spacing around your Z4M... that ought to do it!

[filtercoffee]

I just missed the black friday sale on one of those!

I actually do have a sinister plan brewing that I think strikes the right balance between sinister / harmless / effective. will post a pic once I put it into action, hopefully by next week.

foreshadowing attached

[Huz-Z]

Originally Posted by Angelito

LOL...or you can get one T-800 Terminator (Cyberdyne Systems Model 101) to enforce spacing around your Z4M... that ought to do it!

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