Dating - Good/Bad Experiences

[FuriouslyFast]

Originally Posted by pennsiveguy

STRANGER DANGER!!!

I'm pondering re-entering the online dating fracas. Not looking forward to all the silliness and fuckery. There are a lot of fucked-up people out there.

Dating as a whole is a shit show right now. Online dating just makes it look extra bad b/c we have access to so many people at once.

[CTinline-six]

Originally Posted by FuriouslyFast

What's with the idiots that will not exchange numbers before meeting?

Similar to the idiots who want to chat for a month on the app before texting, or those who can't have a conversation to save their life. I usually just un-match or delete them. You either want to chat over coffee in a public place or you don't, pretty simple.

[FuriouslyFast]

Originally Posted by CTinline-six

Similar to the idiots who want to chat for a month on the app before texting, or those who can't have a conversation to save their life. I usually just un-match or delete them. You either want to chat over coffee in a public place or you don't, pretty simple.

I do the same with deleting them

[pennsiveguy]

Originally Posted by CTinline-six

Similar to the idiots who want to chat for a month on the app before texting, or those who can't have a conversation to save their life. I usually just un-match or delete them. You either want to chat over coffee in a public place or you don't, pretty simple.

In my previous cycles of online dating, I've tried to meet face-to-face ASAP. I'm looking for dates, not texting partners.

It's my distinct impression that many of the women on the dating sites aren't really interested in a relationship or even a date. They're looking for some male attention, some flattery. The minute you ask them to meet up, they run like scalded dogs.

[Rmtt]

I guess it was different when I was single about 10-12 years ago. The online scene was big, but I didn't prefer using any of the apps.

I just physically went out to the local nightspots when I felt like it...never had any trouble hooking up if I was looking...and a lot of times when I wasn't looking.

[CTinline-six]

Originally Posted by pennsiveguy

In my previous cycles of online dating, I've tried to meet face-to-face ASAP. I'm looking for dates, not texting partners.

It's my distinct impression that many of the women on the dating sites aren't really interested in a relationship or even a date. They're looking for some male attention, some flattery. The minute you ask them to meet up, they run like scalded dogs.

I'm convinced most women on dating sites are just looking for validation, and nothing more. The ones who are actually looking for something of substance avoid dating sites.

[Rmtt]

I have mentioned it before, but my brother met his wife on E-Harmony.

I think the reason it worked for him is that he said it takes almost an hour to sign up and answer all the personality questions.

Most people are not going to spend that amount of time setting up a profile unless they are serious about trying to find something long-term.

But they have been married for about 5 years now....she seems pretty cool and they get along great from what I see and hear.

[FuriouslyFast]

Originally Posted by Rmtt

I have mentioned it before, but my brother met his wife on E-Harmony.

I think the reason it worked for him is that he said it takes almost an hour to sign up and answer all the personality questions.

Most people are not going to spend that amount of time setting up a profile unless they are serious about trying to find something long-term.

But they have been married for about 5 years now....she seems pretty cool and they get along great from what I see and hear.

E-harmony is the one where you can't search for people to message etc. Seems like bs for a pay site. Is it still religious based as well?

[FuriouslyFast]

Originally Posted by CTinline-six

I'm convinced most women on dating sites are just looking for validation, and nothing more. The ones who are actually looking for something of substance avoid dating sites.

Absolutely A LOT of women on these sites & apps are doing just that, but when you're an ugly introvert like me & don't approach random women in Target, the internet is what is left.

[upstatedoc]

Originally Posted by FuriouslyFast

but when you're an ugly introvert like me & don't approach random women in Target, the internet is what is left.

there's a jack for every jill

[Rmtt]

Originally Posted by FuriouslyFast

E-harmony is the one where you can't search for people to message etc. Seems like bs for a pay site. Is it still religious based as well?

I think they have relaxed the religious bit, but according to him you can't see matches for you until you fill out the profile.

But he did say that everyone he was matched with was a pretty good selection in regards to what they were looking for.

I guess you could just fly through the questions and answer what you want, but then supposedly you won't be matched as well as when being truthful.

[CTinline-six]

Originally Posted by Rmtt

I think they have relaxed the religious bit, but according to him you can't see matches for you until you fill out the profile.

But he did say that everyone he was matched with was a pretty good selection in regards to what they were looking for.

I guess you could just fly through the questions and answer what you want, but then supposedly you won't be matched as well as when being truthful.

Wonder if this is one of the questions on the site...

[FuriouslyFast]

Recently had a woman tell me her idea of a first date was food. After she said no to pool at my place, I picked a local brewery that also has food. She then backed out w/the "You seem like a nice guy..." blah blah blah. Ok so you didn't wanna eat? Idiot.

Another one lives one town over (15 minutes or so tops) and said she did not feel like driving to my town. Called her a lazy ass & blocked her number.

[FuriouslyFast]

Originally Posted by upstatedoc

there's a jack for every jill

That's obviously false.

[MKSixer]

Originally Posted by FuriouslyFast

Recently had a woman tell me her idea of a first date was food. After she said no to pool at my place, I picked a local brewery that also has food. She then backed out w/the "You seem like a nice guy..." blah blah blah. Ok so you didn't wanna eat? Idiot.

Another one lives one town over (15 minutes or so tops) and said she did not feel like driving to my town. Called her a lazy ass & blocked her number.

You may want to smooth things out a bit in your communication from what I'm reading here. If they want food, I suggest asking what their 3 fav restaurants are and pick one of those. Remember your objectives...

On the distance, some people don't mind it, some mind it quite a bit. I had a lady driving about 280 miles, one way to spend weekends with me. She had no problem doing it and I also reciprocated. If they can't invest a little time, you are better off without them.

Good luck!
Cheers-mk

[FuriouslyFast]

Originally Posted by MKSixer

You may want to smooth things out a bit in your communication from what I'm reading here. If they want food, I suggest asking what their 3 fav restaurants are and pick one of those. Remember your objectives...

On the distance, some people don't mind it, some mind it quite a bit. I had a lady driving about 280 miles, one way to spend weekends with me. She had no problem doing it and I also reciprocated. If they can't invest a little time, you are better off without them.

Good luck!
Cheers-mk

Yea? I didn't post the actual conversation. Communication was fine. She bailed after I suggested the place. No time for games so I moved on. Likely another one on there just for validation & was never going to meet anyway. Someone that wants to meet you won't play high maintenance b/c you didn't get taken for lobster. The goal there was ass for me anyway so no loss.

On the other one, 15 minutes is not distance. That's straight lazy. Like I said, called her on it & blocked. I'm not upset. It's funny & sad that people are actually out there doing this dumb shit.

[upstatedoc]

[pennsiveguy]

Originally Posted by FuriouslyFast

Recently had a woman tell me her idea of a first date was food. After she said no to pool at my place, I picked a local brewery that also has food. She then backed out w/the "You seem like a nice guy..." blah blah blah. Ok so you didn't wanna eat? Idiot.

Another one lives one town over (15 minutes or so tops) and said she did not feel like driving to my town. Called her a lazy ass & blocked her number.

You only find out the real interest level when it's time to meet face-to-face. That's why I try to meet early on. Separates the spectators from the participants, with minimal time wasted. The vast majority of women on those dating sites have no intention of going on a date with any man, ever. Brad Pitt, George Clooney, and Jesus could each try to buy them dinner and they'd all get ghosted. It's frustrating as fuck.

[pennsiveguy]

Originally Posted by upstatedoc

there's a jack for every jill

The "Jacks" for some of these basket-case "Jills" would have to be bed-wetting cucks with no pride and no game.

[upstatedoc]

Originally Posted by pennsiveguy

The "Jacks" for some of these basket-case "Jills" would have to be bed-wetting cucks with no pride and no game.

but still you admit they exist

[Turkish Pickle]

Originally Posted by MKSixer

You may want to smooth things out a bit in your communication from what I'm reading here. If they want food, I suggest asking what their 3 fav restaurants are and pick one of those. Remember your objectives...

On the distance, some people don't mind it, some mind it quite a bit. I had a lady driving about 280 miles, one way to spend weekends with me. She had no problem doing it and I also reciprocated. If they can't invest a little time, you are better off without them.

Good luck!
Cheers-mk

I see your point - I've definitely bailed on girls because I did not want to make the drive. Not that it was long or anything, but because I would honestly not expect anyone to drive 45 mins to see me so I figured it would be just to bail on that girl.

Originally Posted by FuriouslyFast

Yea? I didn't post the actual conversation. Communication was fine. She bailed after I suggested the place. No time for games so I moved on. Likely another one on there just for validation & was never going to meet anyway. Someone that wants to meet you won't play high maintenance b/c you didn't get taken for lobster. The goal there was ass for me anyway so no loss.

On the other one, 15 minutes is not distance. That's straight lazy. Like I said, called her on it & blocked. I'm not upset. It's funny & sad that people are actually out there doing this dumb shit.

I met up a few times with this girl, and for some reason I still don't know she would not want to come to brunch with me downtown in a nice place. (It was in a country club sorta place so it wasn't even about her being able/not able to afford the bill, it would go to my bill anyway). Anything I threw was just not exciting to her I guess

One of our mutual friends sent a pic of her with the new boyfriend and all I gotta say is... if that's the kind of guy she was willing to date I'm glad i'm out the picture. I met her ex by coincidence at a bar (after they broke up and while she was seeing me) and that kid was a good guy so I was kinda reassured that she was a good girl. The new guy is just... "average" to put it nicely

[FuriouslyFast]

Originally Posted by pennsiveguy

You only find out the real interest level when it's time to meet face-to-face.

Exactly.

That's why I try to meet early on. Separates the spectators from the participants, with minimal time wasted.

Me too. Once numbers are exchanged, I move to setting that up.

The vast majority of women on those dating sites have no intention of going on a date with any man, ever. Brad Pitt, George Clooney, and Jesus could each try to buy them dinner and they'd all get ghosted. It's frustrating as fuck.

sad but true