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Rosie, I find your post to be tiresome and OT. I'm older and have led a normal existence, including military, school, marriage, kids and fairly long term affair.
If you want a rut, go for it. You'll find it. If you want to play, be a player. You'll get what you want if you focus your efforts. Whatever you choose it will not knock on your door. Go find it, silly.
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