Why do people WANT kids?

[Sara]

I gained 35 lbs!! The last two months really were tough.

http://www.e90post.com/forums/showthread.php?t=1011286


My daughter is 9 months tomorrow. I've lost all the weight.

[carve]

Originally Posted by Billup

I like hearing those stories where the women don't even know they're pregnant, and they go to drop a huge deuce, and it's a little meatslug instead.

So precious. <3

I literally LOL'd

[Mr.SugarSkulls]

Very interesting thread here.

Here's my kid. Don't want anymore

[Sara]

"why do people WANT kids?"


Because of this face!!!: love:

[bruza]

Originally Posted by Sara504

Here's something to think about. Do you ever want to be a Grandpa? Do you ever want to see your child graduate high school? College? What about during the Holidays when you're in your 60's and your parents are passed away. Do you want to be alone? or would you like to have your grown children and grand children coming to visit. What about when you're 80 and your spouse passes away. Do you want to be in a nursing home or would you rather have your children be able to take care of you and call you and keep you company? Its not just the "kid" phase to think about. Its the rest of your life.

Although this reply comes from much earlier in the thread, this thought process (the last sentence in particular) is what changed my mind on whether to have kids or not.

I'm 32 now and have a gf that lives on the other side of the country. We have discussed marriage and all but I'm liking the way life is right now. Definitely have to think long term. I gotta start before too long I guess. Fortunately, she is still in her 20's so we have time.

[carve]

My parents are thousands of miles away and I see them a few days a year. I'm not their property or retirement plan. Most of us will wind up in some kind of home and are likely to die alone. My mom runs a retirement community and it happens all the time. I plan on keeping lots of friends by enriching their lives who live near me and be as active as possible until my health no longer permits enjoyment of life, and then I'm going to off myself. I don't want to sound sad or macabre about it- I don't have a death wish or anything, but if I reach a point where I'm no longer able to have good experiences and am no longer making a contribution in life, I'm not going to extend it just for the sake of metabolizing oxygen and feeling pain. Exit bag- clean and painless.

As I said in the OP- I'd like some of those things and think I have a lot to offer a kid, and would like adult children...just not enough to spend $300k, spend years more at work, give up on spontaneity, stop doing something fun with my girl every day, lose countless hours of sleep, and put a huge damper on my sex life. If only kids grew up in a few years! It takes them that long just to learn to poop properly!

[Sara]

Originally Posted by carve

My parents are thousands of miles away and I see them a few days a year. I'm not their property or retirement plan. Most of us will wind up in some kind of home and are likely to die alone. My mom runs a retirement community and it happens all the time. I plan on keeping lots of friends by enriching their lives who live near me and be as active as possible until my health no longer permits enjoyment of life, and then I'm going to off myself. I don't want to sound sad or macabre about it- I don't have a death wish or anything, but if I reach a point where I'm no longer able to have good experiences and am no longer making a contribution in life, I'm not going to extend it just for the sake of metabolizing oxygen and feeling pain. Exit bag- clean and painless.

As I said in the OP- I'd like some of those things and think I have a lot to offer a kid, and would like adult children...just not enough to spend $300k, spend years more at work, give up on spontaneity, stop doing something fun with my girl every day, lose countless hours of sleep, and put a huge damper on my sex life. If only kids grew up in a few years! It takes them that long just to learn to poop properly!

I thought some of those same things just a few years ago. When I felt my child move inside me for the first time, I fell in love instantly and everything changed.

[carve]

Originally Posted by Sara504

I thought some of those same things just a few years ago. When I felt my child move inside me for the first time, I fell in love instantly and everything changed.

Women get a huge jump in oxytocin with their children. Men get a much smaller bump, but our testosterone also plummets. Low T makes life seem tiresome and dull.

[Templar]

Originally Posted by carve

Women get a huge jump in oxytocin with their children. Men get a much smaller bump, but our testosterone also plummets. Low T makes life seem tiresome and dull.

One study says that, yes. You know what else makes T levels go down? Age.

Sorry, it's gonna happen whether you have kids or not.

[carve]

Originally Posted by Templar

One study says that, yes. You know what else makes T levels go down? Age.

Sorry, it's gonna happen whether you have kids or not.

Fuck that! I plan on starting hormone replacement therapy before 50.

[nagisak31]

Originally Posted by Templar

One study says that, yes. You know what else makes T levels go down? Age.

Sorry, it's gonna happen whether you have kids or not.

You're destined to be miserable with your kids and wife.

[Templar]

Originally Posted by carve

Fuck that! I plan on starting hormone replacement therapy before 50.

You can do that with kids too!

[UncleWede]

Sara. Give it 4-5 years so you only have one college tuition at a time to pay.

Case in point: my youngest had a baseball teammate who went from 4.0 to off the team for grades because he has +2 older brother. Parents told him they can only afford 1 tuition and the younger got so depressed he dropped below 2.0 and is off the team

[Nkc]

Originally Posted by Sara504

I'm fine. I've moved on. I still get sad, I still get down. Do I wish things turned out differently? Absolutely. It still hurts. My heart hurts most for her. Maybe one day someone will walk into our lives and love her just as much as I do. But back on topic, there is no mister. Just me and I absolutely want another baby in the next 4-7 years or so

DAMNNN SARA!!! Must have been a rough year for you. Too bad it didn't work out with Sugar Daddy #1 but I think we all knew where that was heading before it even started. So many "I told you so's" conveniently stored on this forum alone.

If we're gonna plan for baby #2 in 4-7 years, we better go hunt for Sugar Daddy #2 right away. We'll work out a strategy together to at least fool the dude into marriage this time. Let's work on that "I was innocent and nothing was my fault" face.

Sorry if I sound like a complete asshole, I'm so jet lagged. I only meant to sound semi-asshole.

Good luck Sara and stay classy.

[Sara]

Originally Posted by Nkc

DAMNNN SARA!!! Must have been a rough year for you. Too bad it didn't work out with Sugar Daddy #1 but I think we all knew where that was heading before it even started. So many "I told you so's" conveniently stored on this forum alone.

If we're gonna plan for baby #2 in 4-7 years, we better go hunt for Sugar Daddy #2 right away. We'll work out a strategy together to at least fool the dude into marriage this time. Let's work on that "I was innocent and nothing was my fault" face.

Sorry if I sound like a complete asshole, I'm so jet lagged. I only meant to sound semi-asshole.

Good luck Sara and stay classy.

Lol


I have a problem dating. I've flaked twice already. It's gonna be really hard to have another child if I don't even want to date.

[carve]

This is a really good audio clip on this issue.

[davis449]

Originally Posted by Sara504

I thought some of those same things just a few years ago. When I felt my child move inside me for the first time, I fell in love instantly and everything changed.

Here's something to think about. Do you ever want to be a Grandpa? Do you ever want to see your child graduate high school? College? What about during the Holidays when you're in your 60's and your parents are passed away. Do you want to be alone? or would you like to have your grown children and grand children coming to visit. What about when you're 80 and your spouse passes away. Do you want to be in a nursing home or would you rather have your children be able to take care of you and call you and keep you company? Its not just the "kid" phase to think about. Its the rest of your life.

You're effing delusional. ALL of this.

As I said in the OP- I'd like some of those things and think I have a lot to offer a kid, and would like adult children...just not enough to spend $300k, spend years more at work, give up on spontaneity, stop doing something fun with my girl every day, lose countless hours of sleep, and put a huge damper on my sex life. If only kids grew up in a few years! It takes them that long just to learn to poop properly!

And you're a selfish asshole.


See how not even a page later in this thread you both proved the point I made in my post?

[carve]

Originally Posted by davis449

You're effing delusional. ALL of this.

And you're a selfish asshole.


See how not even a page later in this thread you both proved the point I made in my post?

Who am I taking from and being an asshole to?

[Woodengun]

My kids were a side effect from having sex with the wife.

Ive grown rather fond of the side effects.

[Joekerr]

Originally Posted by carve

Who am I taking from and being an asshole to?

Society.

Hear me out. I don't care at all about those people who just abuse the system and live at the expense of others, and that's not what I mean by society. Rather, I mean those who actually contribute.

Here's the thing...look at yourself. You say you think you have a lot to offer a kid, and you talk about your life and how successful you are and plan to be in the future. Would you say that you've made some sort of meaningful impact to society - through perhaps your efforts at work maybe? Is there something you've created (I don't care if its a simple excel spreadsheet that makes a task 50% more efficient, still counts) that makes life easier for others now?

Or is there something outside of work wherein you've done something that has advanced society in some way?

You could not enjoy all the current benefits that you now enjoy (electricity, sewers, etc - even the technology that went into designing a better pair of skis that allow you to perform better), if everyone else chose not to have children, since these things would not have been invented.

Do you know that your potential offspring really won't be perhaps the next Einstein?

For myself, both my spouse and I are reasonably well educated and are successful professionals. While this does not mean my kid will also be smart, nor do I know what he's going to do, I'm very much looking forward to seeing how he turns out!

[davis449]

Originally Posted by carve

Who am I taking from and being an asshole to?

I was using yours and Sara's quotes to further substantiate my claim that you won't understand "them" and they won't understand "you" (really, "us", if you read my post).

[carve]

Originally Posted by Joekerr

Society.

Hear me out. I don't care at all about those people who just abuse the system and live at the expense of others, and that's not what I mean by society. Rather, I mean those who actually contribute.

That's what the US was supposed to be, but isn't any more. It's the society that takes 55-60% of my income at the end of the day, just hand over 2/3 of that to other people to crap out kids or sit on ass, and then rings up a bunch more debt on top of that so that your child will already be deep in other people's debt the day they're born. This tax is applied to all productive people, which is why it costs many hundreds of thousands of dollars to raise a kid now- a ridiculous number! When you consider perhaps a third of the price of anything you buy goes to corporate taxes and regulations compliance, the government really only lets me spend about 30% of my money on something I want. It's also the society that's tending to remove more and more freedoms and add more and more rules and regulations continuously, paid for with my own money.

It's the society who has made children an asset for the lazy and irresponsible and a liability for the productive and upstanding. You just get more of what you subsidize and less of what you penalize. In all likelihood, my kid would just be meat for the grinder to make this last a bit longer.

You could not enjoy all the current benefits that you now enjoy (electricity, sewers, etc - even the technology that went into designing a better pair of skis that allow you to perform better), if everyone else chose not to have children, since these things would not have been invented.

Most of those basic technologies, from electricity to factories to radio to airplanes to cars to jet engines to nuclear reactors to antibiotics to transistors and TV's were invented by the society that used to be year before ours. None of that existed before. We just refined them; there's been very little in the realm of breakthroughs since the integrated circuit except perhaps in genetics.



This society just makes the cost high and the benefits marginal. I don't owe it more meat for the grinder, and would feel awful leaving my child in that kind of world. We're in no danger of running out of people; it'll just be the kind of people society subsidizes instead of penalizes. The actions indicate that's what's wanted, so that's what they'll receive.

Hopefully the tech singularity will happen before then and we'll just live forever anyway.