need girl advice

[karkid]

Never thought of this, going online to ask for advice but i guess its worth a shot. maybe this isn't the section to be posting in.

Anyways Names Andrew, i'm 21.

I'm in need of some advice. i'll try and keep this short. In January of this year i met this girl when a bunch of my friends and I went on vacation together. She was a friend of a friend who decided to come along for the trip. I'm in Toronto, She lives in NYC... we talked on the trip and this girl was different for me. All of my friends Knew that i liked her they could tell how hard i was trying. we talked a lot over the course of the trip and it seemed that we had both recently got out of long relationships. i was over mine. Don't think she was over her's though. Anyways we went our separate ways. we kept in touch though. texting once in a while to more often, to everyday all day, Skype Sessions every night.

Started talking a lot she knew how i felt about her but i liked her so didn't want to push anything. we kept talking, then about a month or so after the vacation, i was heading to new york to see family so i told her and we got together i didn't have much time ... but i got to see her. Continued talking, when i got back and everything was going well. So she decided to come down to toronto during the summer she had 2 weeks free. Came down stayed at a friends place, because i wasn't sure how to pull that off at home. i tried really hard to show her the best time i could in while she was visiting but it was just like the harder i tried to keep her happy the harder she tried to push me away. friends and family kept telling me they didn't get a good vibe from her. I ignored it. A lot of drama. Anyways i went on vacation in july, and things were rough we was fighting about everything i don't know why. something happened, between her and my sister and she sent me a text saying i'm done can't do this anymore. We didn't talk. i ended up in hospital shortly after my trip and knowing that she has contact with my friends ... she didn't even bother finding out once if i was ok or anything.

as usual i let everything go never said anything. Found out in October i was going for a cousins wedding. which apparently she was also going to be at and it was her birthday the same day. Saw her the first day i got there. didn't even bother trying to say anything, kept our distance both of us. got back from new york. and sent her an apology message for hurting her for whatever i did wrong and wishing her happy birthday. (that was all i had intended on it being, felt like i was finally getting over her) she ... picked up right were we left off like nothing had happened. She talked though. Said she missed me she was just so angry and my friends she couldn't handle the drama. currently were still talking i've been chasing her for almost a year now. I'm a nice guy i paid for a lot of her stuff. never once did i care about the money though. (Used to send her money). Anyways. while all this was going on a friend of mine, was getting closer to me. i was there for her though the summer during her breakup... and when i got out the hospital till about last week we spent nearly everyday together just hanging out i don't know what it was. we used to hang out id talk about the other girl. She would tell me she met this guy and i thought nothing of it. One day she broke down, saying why don't you realize she's not the girl for u ... she doesn't even care about u. we had a huge argument. Saw her the next day she was drunk i picked her up, and she kissed me. After that my eyes opened up. this girl has been in front of me the whole time. She makes me happy and all my friends like her, i'm not stressed out and upset like i was with the other girl. the thing is though i told her how i feel. how i started liking her, and she through something back in my face. I had told her when she first told me about the other guy she met don't break his heart. She said that to me one night when i said to her I'm gonna show u what a real date is like. at the end of the night she told me this was wrong we can't keep doing this. She was like the feelings are mutual i like you too. we wouldn't have spent everyday for the past few months together otherwise. She always lies to the other guy when she's with me ( it wasn't an issue before because we were just friends) now i want to be more. i don't know what she wants though. I don't know what to do, because i think i love the other girl. i'm so confused. I've been chasing her for a year. and she's 500 miles away... i don't know what to do.


Sorry if that was long. Its been a hectic year, and i'm confused. need advice... feel like i had the perfect girl in front of me this whole time and i didn't see it .. now i see it and i can't have her. i even asked her if the other dude wasn't in the picture and i asked you out would you say yes. She said yes. They aren't serious though. she she's him once in a while she's with me all the time.

i feel like i should back off at the same time though.. NO clue what to do..

if i left anything out i'm sorry LOL


THANK YOU!

[radix]

holy shit WOT

[radix]

Seriously, executive summary man... Fuck. At least throw a motherfucker a bone with a paragraph break here and there. I mean fuck, I love reading and even I don't want to read all that shit.

[karkid]

sorry guys

[Bimmer Nerd]

Originally Posted by radix

Seriously, executive summary man... Fuck. At least throw a motherfucker a bone with a paragraph break here and there. I mean fuck, I love reading and even I don't want to read all that shit.

L M F A O Hahahahah

Welcome back radix, fucking missed your comments.

[radix]

Originally Posted by Bimmer Nerd

L M F A O Hahahahah

Welcome back radix, fucking missed your comments.

LOL, thanks. Inevitably I'm going to read this dude's wall of text and reply, but first I should probably warm up by breaking out the "Rise and Fall of the Third Reich", or "War and Peace".

I mean shit, I'm having LASIK done next week, I don't want to give myself eye strain beforehand.

[radix]

Don't worry OP, when I steel my resolve I'm going to climb that wall. I'm now taking it as a personal challenge to give you the best advice I can.

Seriously though, that wall of text can probably be seen with the naked eye from the moon. The great wall of China doesn't have shit on that post.

[karkid]

Originally Posted by radix

LOL, thanks. Inevitably I'm going to read this dude's wall of text and reply, but first I should probably warm up by breaking out the "Rise and Fall of the Third Reich", or "War and Peace".

I mean shit, I'm having LASIK done next week, I don't want to give myself eye strain beforehand.

LOL its its long i know i didn't realize till after

[Bimmer Nerd]

On another note, i just read the whole thing.


You lost me all of a sudden when you said she started seeing this guy, i started seeing this girl. I thought she was the only girl you were trying to get with for a year ? Why would you see another girl ?

Before you clear that up

You sent her money ? You paid for all her stuff ? Thats just wronggggg.

I feel like from the way that you described it, she might be using you as somebody to fall back on as a "fail safe" option. Because she knows you like (love) her a lot and won't let go of her easily.

[yakev724]

the biochem in front of me looks more appealing lol

guys here give some great advice, from skimming through, I can't imagine it's gonna be pretty though.

Originally Posted by karkid

sent her an apology message for hurting her for whatever i did wrong.

never once did i care about the money though. (Used to send her money).

needs to change. It may take you getting hurt to realize it.

[karkid]

Originally Posted by Bimmer Nerd

On another note, i just read the whole thing.


You lost me all of a sudden when you said she started seeing this guy, i started seeing this girl. I thought she was the only girl you were trying to get with for a year ? Why would you see another girl ?

Before you clear that up

You sent her money ? You paid for all her stuff ? Thats just wronggggg.

I feel like from the way that you described it, she might be using you as somebody to fall back on as a "fail safe" option. Because she knows you like (love) her a lot and won't let go of her easily.

sorry theres 2 girls. the girl I've been chasing all year. and the friend who's got me confused now.

[Bimmer Nerd]

Originally Posted by radix

LOL, thanks. Inevitably I'm going to read this dude's wall of text and reply, but first I should probably warm up by breaking out the "Rise and Fall of the Third Reich", or "War and Peace".

I mean shit, I'm having LASIK done next week, I don't want to give myself eye strain beforehand.

Originally Posted by radix

Don't worry OP, when I steel my resolve I'm going to climb that wall. I'm now taking it as a personal challenge to give you the best advice I can.

Seriously though, that wall of text can probably be seen with the naked eye from the moon. The great wall of China doesn't have shit on that post.

Originally Posted by yakev724

the biochem in front of me looks more appealing lol

guys here give some great advice, from skimming through, I can't imagine it's gonna be pretty though.



needs to change. It may take you getting hurt to realize it.

+1, as i explained in my post.

[karkid]

Originally Posted by yakev724

the biochem in front of me looks more appealing lol

guys here give some great advice, from skimming through, I can't imagine it's gonna be pretty though.



needs to change. It may take you getting hurt to realize it.

i already know its a huge mistake but i have to state facts of what happened

LOL on a side note a friend of mine was like let me keep the stuff u got her and ima go down there and smack her till i get it back

[radix]

Stop trying so hard
Stop apologizing
Toronto is north of NYC geographically
Do what feels right
Don't invest too much energy in one girl
Holy shit, you're 21, have fun and stop worry about this girl or that girl so much.

Most importantly...

JUDGE PEOPLE BY THEIR ACTIONS NOT BY WHAT THEY SAY...

This girl could tell you if she weren't with this guy that you guys would be fucking three times a day and spending every christmas together at mom's, but in the end, if she's still with him, then guess what?

[silvergray545]

I chased a girl for about a year and it turned out to be the biggest waste of time and money (money isn't an issue). Long story short, I was a great rebound for her. By giving her time like she wanted means she didn't have to put a title on anything. No relationship basically. Even though it wasn't "official" I almost consider her an ex. We did EVERYTHING together. It felt like she was my girlfriend. When I thought it was time to make things official, I brought it up to her and got shot down like I never have been before. She came up with a bunch of bullshit lies as to why she can't date me. After that, I cut my ties to her. I'm not gonna lie, it hurt. But some girls won't think twice about taking advantage of you. I was no joke, in love with this girl. I've never gotten along with one person so well like I did with her. On the friendship level and on the next level. Everything was perfect. But nothing can ever really be perfect.

If a girl doesn't want to commit, she's either playing the field or not into you. I just hope you aren't in the same shoes as I was.

In all honesty, go for the girl that is right under your nose. You see her everyday. You know she likes you. And you know that there won't be any of this waiting bullshit.

I hope this helps. Oh, I'm 22 btw.

[yakev724]

I've always had a few friends who would tell me if a girl I was seeing was out of line and told me what I should do about it. Invaluable when I started getting into more serious relationships...you'll learn much more quickly from mistakes passed down from person to person than realizing them all for yourself.

[karkid]

Originally Posted by silvergray545

I chased a girl for about a year and it turned out to be the biggest waste of time and money (money isn't an issue). Long story short, I was a great rebound for her. By giving her time like she wanted means she didn't have to put a title on anything. No relationship basically. Even though it wasn't "official" I almost consider her an ex. We did EVERYTHING together. It felt like she was my girlfriend. When I thought it was time to make things official, I brought it up to her and got shot down like I never have been before. She came up with a bunch of bullshit lies as to why she can't date me. After that, I cut my ties to her. I'm not gonna lie, it hurt. But some girls won't think twice about taking advantage of you. I was no joke, in love with this girl. I've never gotten along with one person so well like I did with her. On the friendship level and on the next level. Everything was perfect. But nothing can ever really be perfect.

If a girl doesn't want to commit, she's either playing the field or not into you. I just hope you aren't in the same shoes as I was.

In all honesty, go for the girl that is right under your nose. You see her everyday. You know she likes you. And you know that there won't be any of this waiting bullshit.

I hope this helps. Oh, I'm 22 btw.

situations sound similar. i went to new york a few weeks back to spend the day with her everyone told me not to go. But i did anyway. I feel like she didn't appreciate it. we def had a good day it was fun. Maybe she's been hurt to much in the past maybe is a big word lol. I want to walk away made my mind up a few weeks ago. Just don't know how..

in regards to the other girl. I have no clue what to do i like her. She's great and we get along really well. she's a chill girl down to do anything with me. Just feel like ima always be a number 2 to her.

[Inspired]

One of the most confusing post I've read in OT..

[silvergray545]

Originally Posted by karkid

situations sound similar. i went to new york a few weeks back to spend the day with her everyone told me not to go. But i did anyway. I feel like she didn't appreciate it. we def had a good day it was fun. Maybe she's been hurt to much in the past maybe is a big word lol. I want to walk away made my mind up a few weeks ago. Just don't know how..

in regards to the other girl. I have no clue what to do i like her. She's great and we get along really well. she's a chill girl down to do anything with me. Just feel like ima always be a number 2 to her.

If you wanna walk away from the first girl, just friend zone her. Many guys don't realize it, but it is possible to be friends with girls lol. Don't send her money, buy her things, skype everynight, go to NYC just for her, etc. Treat her like a friend. Basically, you're pulling away without completely cutting her off.

As far as the other girl, if she keeps lying to the other guy, he might eventually find out. Or she might cut him off. Be persistent. It's hard to say what's gonna happen to be honest.

[M3Bahn]

I'm seriously disoriented after trying to read that.

Get away from both chicks go find greener pastures. Don't let chicks take advantage of you and your money.

You can learn lots of stuff here.

http://www.reddit.com/r/seduction

[lopealle]

I defintely didnt read but it sounds like you trickin OP.

[radix]

Originally Posted by lopealle

I defintely didnt read but it sounds like you trickin OP.

trickin? you must be the resident black guy.