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      08-26-2016, 02:31 PM   #1
UntzUntzUntz
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Venting about non-car people surrounding you

Hey guys,

Don't have a Z anymore but you're my favorite group of the bunch so I'ma post here

Not here to share any enlightening information, just got to get some stuff off my chest.

I'm sure there's a lot of us that come across people that simply don't understand our hobby and sheer passion for cars. My problem is that those people happen to be ALL my family members and ALL my friends, every. single. last. one of them.

Back when I had my M, there were nights I come from work exhausted, and the only way I'd unwind is going for a spirited drive in the M. No amount of alcohol or drug (not that I do any) could solve so many problems as much as a nice canyon run in the M. On my way out my parents would ask "where are you going?" and I reply, "oh just driving for couple hours" and they'll look at me like something's wrong with me. This is where I'd like to use the Jesse card and say, "something about engines that calms me down" lol. Wouldn't actually say that but I'd think it haha. Same goes for ordering car parts! Every time a package with the logo "ECS" or such on it, my dad shakes his head and says "more junk." Here comes the Jesse card again, "some overnight parts from Japan" haha ahh crack myself up...

This is around the time where I'd start making the car louder, lower, stiffer, faster. And everyone around me would hate it, while at car meets it's the complete opposite. My dad would always say "your car looks like a Christmas tree" ever since I put bronze wheels on the M lol. Not sure if you guys noticed but I was selling a bunch of parts after I sold the Z, and some were sealed and unused. I enjoy a DIY but never had a second hand when it came to a little wrenching, so my car never got to see those parts. Everyone would get mad for spending all the time and money when I could easily lease a new car and not worry about anything. That does seem logical but where's the fun in that? Anyone can say "I bought that" but not everyone can say "I built that." It's even better when you built that with... your dad, your friend, etc, but that's just unfortunate for me. Which I can't help but throw in a Toretto quote here, "nothing else matters, not the mortgage, not the store, not my team and all their bs. For those 10 seconds or less, I'm free" lol.

We rave about strangers that complement our cars, which is an awesome perk with these cars, but where it's really at is if the same is with the people close to you. If you do have people like that surrounding you, you're extremely lucky. It can really go a long way when you have a second hand to help you, to have a conversation outside of baseball, a bond that's the same with the next person. That's why I enjoy being around car guys is because you effortlessly connect with people as if you've known them for years. I don't know what it is, but we all share a bond that other people can't see. Which is the worst part, because you can't even explain this to non-car people. Sometimes you wish they can just feel 1% of what it's like to experience what we do just so that they can understand.

Just wanted to get this off my chest. I'm good now lol.
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      08-26-2016, 02:35 PM   #2
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Ok, there are 2 things very wrong with you:

1. You sold your Z

2. Your friends dont get cars. You cant choose your family, but you can choose your friends Get some new friends who get it . Unless you only have female friends, then the benefits are different
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      08-26-2016, 04:12 PM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GuidoK View Post
Ok, there are 2 things very wrong with you:

1. You sold your Z

2. Your friends dont get cars. You cant choose your family, but you can choose your friends Get some new friends who get it . Unless you only have female friends, then the benefits are different
Well said

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      08-26-2016, 06:53 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GuidoK View Post
Ok, there are 2 things very wrong with you:

1. You sold your Z

2. Your friends dont get cars. You cant choose your family, but you can choose your friends Get some new friends who get it . Unless you only have female friends, then the benefits are different
Haha great points.
  1. I sold the car with the intentions of getting an M coupe down the line. So far it's not all that bad because I still have my e39... actually it is bad... It's a 528i with an auto trans lol.
  2. Haha hey man, they do come with benefits, but my last ex came with far more cons than pros. She knew how much I love my car and when we would have arguments in the car (especially when she would lose), she would swing her feet all over my dash, windshield, and even me while driving. So now you know why she's an ex. But yeah I hear ya out, gotta surround myself with people in common and suck up the family situation.

Is this just me experiencing this???
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      08-26-2016, 09:05 PM   #5
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I feel your pain

Good on you for persisting in the face of adversity.
My first car was a 58 Porsche Speedster-in 58! In those days sports cars were new. American was drum brakes and bench seats. So there was an era and there were enthusiasts. Watkins Glen, Lime rock etc. Steve McQueen. All the people are now gone. No one waves anymore. Everyone now has an SUV and Golfs and watches TV.
Next is autonomous self driving.
So hang in there, do your thing, maybe the local Porsche or BMW club, Cars and Coffee, SCCA stuff. Car shows. There are still some of us out here, just returned from a few days in the "Tail of the Dragon" country.) but you have to look harder.
See you in the Canyons, I still flash my lights.
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      08-27-2016, 09:36 AM   #6
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I have your same problem but I'm lucky that I work in the auto industry in a design studio so a lot of people I work with share my passion for cars. So when I want to talk about cars I just get my fix by talking to my co-workers. To me there's nothing more perfect than an object that is functional and beautiful. Not many things fit that profile (watches, Apple products..etc) But to me, a car can be the ultimate example of that. So who cares that most people don't understand, so what if it isn't a logical financial decision.
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      08-28-2016, 02:37 AM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Zyal8r View Post
Good on you for persisting in the face of adversity.
My first car was a 58 Porsche Speedster-in 58! In those days sports cars were new. American was drum brakes and bench seats. So there was an era and there were enthusiasts. Watkins Glen, Lime rock etc. Steve McQueen. All the people are now gone. No one waves anymore. Everyone now has an SUV and Golfs and watches TV.
Next is autonomous self driving.
So hang in there, do your thing, maybe the local Porsche or BMW club, Cars and Coffee, SCCA stuff. Car shows. There are still some of us out here, just returned from a few days in the "Tail of the Dragon" country.) but you have to look harder.
See you in the Canyons, I still flash my lights.
When a Porsche Speedster is your first car, you know your youth was awesome!!!!
I wouldn't know how it was "back then" because I was in diapers lol. The only car scene I grew up in was Gran Turismo and Need for Speed. You know, I feel it has to with how the economy has changed throughout the decades. Nowadays it's all about what's the cheapest deal. You hear more about how much they're paying per month than how much horsepower the car has. So maybe it has to do with people simply not able to afford it. My friends (yes the same ones I mention above) used to have e39 m5's, 335i's, e30's, but got rid of everything because Lexus or a Prius (totally serious) has better deals. It makes me think, how committed were you in the first place?

In addition, I feel the way people view performance cars has changed too. Now it's looked as a negative thing. I say this because it's something you see regularly in California, aka Commiefornia. Because of how liberal of a state this is, people see performance cars as race cars, and therefore, you're a street racer. I don't get the logic either, but it's a typical liberal mentality. I have a buddy that lives in Nevada but visits every other month. He himself sees a difference in the way people and even cops react to performance cars from state to state. In one state he's a car enthusiast, in the next he's a "hooligan." It's rather amusing and sad at the same time.

But I digress. See you in the canyons brother, even though you're in a complete different state, I'm there in spirit haha.

Quote:
Originally Posted by milamookie View Post
I have your same problem but I'm lucky that I work in the auto industry in a design studio so a lot of people I work with share my passion for cars. So when I want to talk about cars I just get my fix by talking to my co-workers. To me there's nothing more perfect than an object that is functional and beautiful. Not many things fit that profile (watches, Apple products..etc) But to me, a car can be the ultimate example of that. So who cares that most people don't understand, so what if it isn't a logical financial decision.
At least you have that going for you. What is it you do if you don't mind me asking? I'm also in the creative field so just curious.

And I completely agree with what you say. You almost feel bad for those people. Because for us, it's a car that intentionally disconnects us from all that BS and connects us between man and machine. It reminds us what it's like to stop everything you're doing in life and enjoy that moment. Instantly you find yourself in a place with no problems, no worries, an abstract high that suddenly makes everything limitless.

By the way drunk forum posting is pretty fun
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      08-28-2016, 06:57 AM   #8
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I've been a car guy my whole life, lots of people think it's a waste of money, but my wife gets it. In fact she is kind of a car person, she has a '79 Mini with a 1275 Cooper race motor, cam, weber downdraft carb.....you get the idea.

What I always find interesting is when people are critical of ones passion, as if they don't have a passion. My sister in law loves to gamble, she goes to Vegas a few times a year and will sit at the 3 card poker table for hours. She plays for $50-$100 a hand, thousands go down on the table a night. Sometimes she's up, other times she's down. But she can afford it, and knows when to walk away. When I tell people this they are really critical, saying its stupid and a waste. So will say, what do you do for fun? No matter the response, I will say that some might think your passion is stupid or wasteful, but the point is that it's your passion. If you can afford it, then have at it. You work hard, and one of the great things about the first world is you have leisure time and money.

Enjoy your passion, as long as everyone is consenting and nobody gets hurt then it's all good.
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      08-28-2016, 07:16 AM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by UntzUntzUntz
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zyal8r View Post
Good on you for persisting in the face of adversity.
My first car was a 58 Porsche Speedster-in 58! In those days sports cars were new. American was drum brakes and bench seats. So there was an era and there were enthusiasts. Watkins Glen, Lime rock etc. Steve McQueen. All the people are now gone. No one waves anymore. Everyone now has an SUV and Golfs and watches TV.
Next is autonomous self driving.
So hang in there, do your thing, maybe the local Porsche or BMW club, Cars and Coffee, SCCA stuff. Car shows. There are still some of us out here, just returned from a few days in the "Tail of the Dragon" country.) but you have to look harder.
See you in the Canyons, I still flash my lights.
When a Porsche Speedster is your first car, you know your youth was awesome!!!!
I wouldn't know how it was "back then" because I was in diapers lol. The only car scene I grew up in was Gran Turismo and Need for Speed. You know, I feel it has to with how the economy has changed throughout the decades. Nowadays it's all about what's the cheapest deal. You hear more about how much they're paying per month than how much horsepower the car has. So maybe it has to do with people simply not able to afford it. My friends (yes the same ones I mention above) used to have e39 m5's, 335i's, e30's, but got rid of everything because Lexus or a Prius (totally serious) has better deals. It makes me think, how committed were you in the first place?

In addition, I feel the way people view performance cars has changed too. Now it's looked as a negative thing. I say this because it's something you see regularly in California, aka Commiefornia. Because of how liberal of a state this is, people see performance cars as race cars, and therefore, you're a street racer. I don't get the logic either, but it's a typical liberal mentality. I have a buddy that lives in Nevada but visits every other month. He himself sees a difference in the way people and even cops react to performance cars from state to state. In one state he's a car enthusiast, in the next he's a "hooligan." It's rather amusing and sad at the same time.

But I digress. See you in the canyons brother, even though you're in a complete different state, I'm there in spirit haha.

Quote:
Originally Posted by milamookie View Post
I have your same problem but I'm lucky that I work in the auto industry in a design studio so a lot of people I work with share my passion for cars. So when I want to talk about cars I just get my fix by talking to my co-workers. To me there's nothing more perfect than an object that is functional and beautiful. Not many things fit that profile (watches, Apple products..etc) But to me, a car can be the ultimate example of that. So who cares that most people don't understand, so what if it isn't a logical financial decision.
At least you have that going for you. What is it you do if you don't mind me asking? I'm also in the creative field so just curious.

And I completely agree with what you say. You almost feel bad for those people. Because for us, it's a car that intentionally disconnects us from all that BS and connects us between man and machine. It reminds us what it's like to stop everything you're doing in life and enjoy that moment. Instantly you find yourself in a place with no problems, no worries, an abstract high that suddenly makes everything limitless.

By the way drunk forum posting is pretty fun
I work as an Interior Design Engineer inside the Design studio of a major OEM manufacture. My job is help designers make their designs feasible. So I eat, live, and breath cars 8-10 hours a day. For a while it made me not enjoy cars like I did when I was younger but I've circled back and found that passion again. The main reason? Purchasing my ZM coupe
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      08-28-2016, 09:14 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RABAUKE View Post
What I always find interesting is when people are critical of ones passion, as if they don't have a passion. My sister in law loves to gamble, she goes to Vegas a few times a year and will sit at the 3 card poker table for hours. She plays for $50-$100 a hand, thousands go down on the table a night. Sometimes she's up, other times she's down. But she can afford it, and knows when to walk away. When I tell people this they are really critical, saying its stupid and a waste. So will say, what do you do for fun? No matter the response, I will say that some might think your passion is stupid or wasteful, but the point is that it's your passion. If you can afford it, then have at it. You work hard, and one of the great things about the first world is you have leisure time and money.

Enjoy your passion, as long as everyone is consenting and nobody gets hurt then it's all good.
Very well said!
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      08-30-2016, 09:48 PM   #11
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At this point in my life, my greatest source of pleasure is my M Coupe. Upside is that my son put me onto this car, and it has been wonderful. He and I can talk over and over about it, and we do track days in his Miata. Downside is that my wife hates the car, never wants to hear about it. So I get home from a particularly fun drive home (as much fun as you can have on I 95) and nobody to share it with. Son is an hour away. Challenge is that I am 63 and have to make the M last the rest of my life (daily driver, at 107,000 now) because she will never agree to another similar car.
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      08-30-2016, 11:42 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Patrick Gent
At this point in my life, my greatest source of pleasure is my M Coupe. Upside is that my son put me onto this car, and it has been wonderful. He and I can talk over and over about it, and we do track days in his Miata. Downside is that my wife hates the car, never wants to hear about it. So I get home from a particularly fun drive home (as much fun as you can have on I 95) and nobody to share it with. Son is an hour away. Challenge is that I am 63 and have to make the M last the rest of my life (daily driver, at 107,000 now) because she will never agree to another similar car.
You've got us.

Nothing like a fun drive!
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      08-31-2016, 01:28 AM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by UntzUntzUntz
Hey guys,

Don't have a Z anymore but you're my favorite group of the bunch so I'ma post here

Not here to share any enlightening information, just got to get some stuff off my chest.

I'm sure there's a lot of us that come across people that simply don't understand our hobby and sheer passion for cars. My problem is that those people happen to be ALL my family members and ALL my friends, every. single. last. one of them.

Back when I had my M, there were nights I come from work exhausted, and the only way I'd unwind is going for a spirited drive in the M. No amount of alcohol or drug (not that I do any) could solve so many problems as much as a nice canyon run in the M. On my way out my parents would ask "where are you going?" and I reply, "oh just driving for couple hours" and they'll look at me like something's wrong with me. This is where I'd like to use the Jesse card and say, "something about engines that calms me down" lol. Wouldn't actually say that but I'd think it haha. Same goes for ordering car parts! Every time a package with the logo "ECS" or such on it, my dad shakes his head and says "more junk." Here comes the Jesse card again, "some overnight parts from Japan" haha ahh crack myself up...

This is around the time where I'd start making the car louder, lower, stiffer, faster. And everyone around me would hate it, while at car meets it's the complete opposite. My dad would always say "your car looks like a Christmas tree" ever since I put bronze wheels on the M lol. Not sure if you guys noticed but I was selling a bunch of parts after I sold the Z, and some were sealed and unused. I enjoy a DIY but never had a second hand when it came to a little wrenching, so my car never got to see those parts. Everyone would get mad for spending all the time and money when I could easily lease a new car and not worry about anything. That does seem logical but where's the fun in that? Anyone can say "I bought that" but not everyone can say "I built that." It's even better when you built that with... your dad, your friend, etc, but that's just unfortunate for me. Which I can't help but throw in a Toretto quote here, "nothing else matters, not the mortgage, not the store, not my team and all their bs. For those 10 seconds or less, I'm free" lol.

We rave about strangers that complement our cars, which is an awesome perk with these cars, but where it's really at is if the same is with the people close to you. If you do have people like that surrounding you, you're extremely lucky. It can really go a long way when you have a second hand to help you, to have a conversation outside of baseball, a bond that's the same with the next person. That's why I enjoy being around car guys is because you effortlessly connect with people as if you've known them for years. I don't know what it is, but we all share a bond that other people can't see. Which is the worst part, because you can't even explain this to non-car people. Sometimes you wish they can just feel 1% of what it's like to experience what we do just so that they can understand.

Just wanted to get this off my chest. I'm good now lol.
I agree with above posters that you shouldn't have sold your car.

But if you have an interest in cars you should naturally meet people regularly who have the same interests. Hit the car meets keep up on current events with guys you meet there.

Without my car friends I wouldn't be the same
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      08-31-2016, 07:35 AM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Patrick Gent View Post
At this point in my life, my greatest source of pleasure is my M Coupe. Upside is that my son put me onto this car, and it has been wonderful. He and I can talk over and over about it, and we do track days in his Miata. Downside is that my wife hates the car, never wants to hear about it. So I get home from a particularly fun drive home (as much fun as you can have on I 95) and nobody to share it with. Son is an hour away. Challenge is that I am 63 and have to make the M last the rest of my life (daily driver, at 107,000 now) because she will never agree to another similar car.

You've got to change her perception of the car, like this:

"Honey, I'll take you shopping and carry all your bags - in the M"

"Honey, let's go to that new restaurant you mentioned - in the M"

Etcetera - etcetera!
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      08-31-2016, 08:43 AM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Patrick Gent View Post
At this point in my life, my greatest source of pleasure is my M Coupe. Upside is that my son put me onto this car, and it has been wonderful. He and I can talk over and over about it, and we do track days in his Miata. Downside is that my wife hates the car, never wants to hear about it. So I get home from a particularly fun drive home (as much fun as you can have on I 95) and nobody to share it with. Son is an hour away. Challenge is that I am 63 and have to make the M last the rest of my life (daily driver, at 107,000 now) because she will never agree to another similar car.
I feel your pain. My wife hasn't been in my car in nearly two years, doesn't understand it, doesn't want to hear about it.
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      08-31-2016, 11:28 AM   #16
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Interesting.

In my daily work I interface with car people all the time. All I can tell you is you can only take car people in moderation. When you get a group together it can get overwhelming. And when you hang out with them sometimes it's head shake inducing.

I recall attending a car show, where one of the participant was butt-pissed angry at a volunteer for holding him up for 5 minutes at the gate, threatening to run him over with his car. The whole time screaming "do you f**king know what I have here? It's a [insert whatever small block V8 is under the hood] pushing [insert 4xxhp]! It's a f**king one of a kind! Do you have ANY idea how much money I put into this? Get the f**k out of the way!" When the volunteer finally let him in the gate, he promptly did a massive burn-out with his middle finger sticking out...At an unpaid volunteer.

The guy drove a nondescript '60s muscle car. Not even a Camaro or Mustang. It was like a Chevy Nova or something.

My car guy friends get together like once every other week. If we get together weekly I probably would have quit hanging around with them a long time ago. There's really only so much "car talk" you can enjoy, IMO.
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      08-31-2016, 12:10 PM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RABAUKE View Post
My sister in law loves to gamble, she goes to Vegas a few times a year and will sit at the 3 card poker table for hours. She plays for $50-$100 a hand, thousands go down on the table a night. Sometimes she's up, other times she's down. But she can afford it, and knows when to walk away.
I get what you're trying to say, but gambling as a passion? I guarantee you a three card poker player is a huge loser at that game lifetime, and if she tells you otherwise just grin and nod. If she's betting $50-100 a hand, she's lost a small fortune.
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      08-31-2016, 12:31 PM   #18
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Originally Posted by NickyC View Post
I get what you're trying to say, but gambling as a passion? I guarantee you a three card poker player is a huge loser at that game lifetime, and if she tells you otherwise just grin and nod. If she's betting $50-100 a hand, she's lost a small fortune.
You miss the point, she likes the experience of sitting at the tables. It's what she likes, I like cars someone else might like to eat in a nice restaurant. It's what ever floats your boat. You actually reinforce my point.
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      08-31-2016, 07:06 PM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Patrick Gent View Post
...
Hey going to track events with your kid sounds like a blast! I would recommend attending BMW CCA events, if you already have not. I've never been to one but from what I see it looks like a really family oriented crowd. Might be something you can look into.

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Very interesting perspective. Never saw it that way. You look and think, how can someone love to gamble so much?? While other people see us the same way, how can someone like cars so much?? It goes both ways.

It's actually interesting this reminds me of a conversation I had with my friend last Sunday. I asked him to come with me to a cars and coffee. And while we were there we met a few guys and one of them happens to also vape (my friend quit smoking about a year ago because of his vape, so it's not for show lol). On our way back from the meet he explains how exited he got to meet someone that vapes too. I made a little fun of him while I had the opportunity, but then he said it's nice to have someone to share with the same hobbies you have. And it reminds me the same situation I'm in with cars and reminds me of your post in particular. It's interesting how this all works out. I guess it just takes a little more understanding how it's like in their shoes.

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Hey man, everything has it's goods and bads. It only takes one to ruin the party for everyone. You can't fix stupid. Not to sound brand racist, but I've never seen that behavior from bmw owners, either American or Jap, but mostly American lol. Which is expected because you find a younger crowd in there. I wouldn't want to be involved in that either.


Which by the way reminds me, I just started attending a newly starting "cars and coffee" event in SoCal area. Made a few friends that day so slowly but surely expanding my car connections We just need more BMW guys
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My e39 looks like a Prius compared to the Huracan, Porsche GT4, C63, 335is. We had more Maserati's and Porsche's but they left along the way. Kind of odd way I fit into that but it worked out great! Took 2 friends that aren't into cars and are slowly converting too be. It was a good day
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      09-01-2016, 03:34 AM   #20
Finnegan
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There's something to be said for shared hobbies and interests. Even in animals having a connection matters.

This cat and this dog never got along, until, that is, we fenced in the backyard and let the cat outside. Now they're buddies because they discovered they have a shared interest and hobby: hunting (anything that moves). They even team up to run pincher formations trying to get a particular scrub jay. It's changed everything for them.
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      09-01-2016, 06:30 AM   #21
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My missus doesn't like my car, esp now that its much more track orientated, she hates the new seats even more, but she appreciates and loves that /I/ love it.
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      09-01-2016, 07:38 PM   #22
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My missus doesn't like my car, esp now that its much more track orientated, she hates the new seats even more, but she appreciates and loves that /I/ love it.
That, my friend, is pure gold.
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