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Welcome to the forum!!
Most if not all of the cars have the lights flash upon locking and unlocking the car. Chances are you don't have an alarm. If you lift the hood, where the two black braces connect at the firewall is there a hood sensor? Looks like a button that gets depressed as the hood closes. If so then you might have the alarm, if not then you don't.
On the steering wheel do you have the phone button? Press it and see if it goes searching for a phone. You can also request the dealer to run your vin to find out what package the car came with when new.
My prior BMW had navigation and I purchased used dvd's online from people upgrading to the newest version. i'd suggest that route instead of paying $200 per dvd at the dealer.
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